Proverbs 28:1 “ The wicked flee when no one pursues, but the righteous are bold as a lion.“

Losing MArgin

I haven’t written in the last 2 weeks and part of that is not because I can’t but I haven’t made space. So much is occurring and I realized I haven’t given myself enough space to process. Even as I write today, it’s a late night writing session. I am in the mood to be productive. As I review the last 2 weeks, there are so many topics I can talk about. But instead, I may leave some of those topics for future weeks. Instead I will share poem, that illustrates me running away from me; keeping busy to dull the never ending questions that challenge me. I’ve felt for a long time my body, My spirit has been begging for a change. A change that is necessary to make if I long for growth. And this poem is fitting because over the last few weeks, all I have thought about is finally facing me. I do not remember what prompted its writing but my soul was crying out to STOP. RUNNING. And now, only now I see how much I was running away from me. I was running away from going after all I want, confronting my dating issues, insecurities and more. This poem shouts and speaks to me now: Are you ready to face yourself?

Much of the grief I have experienced is found in the wrestling of facing the uglier parts of me– the things I have well in my control but have yet to change. Why is that? I am still figuring it out. But I am realizing it takes courage to face my own issues. While it is easier to run, growth is not found away from fear but by running towards it. I have not resolved all of my desire to run, but lately, I have been telling myself to keep moving forward in the midst of my own fears. In doing so, my prayer is to become bold as a lion. My poem explains my wrestle with the struggle between numbing myself to keep busy versus actually stopping and taking a step back to pause, reflect and ,make a change. Simple but easier said than done. This poem challenges me to stop running from me. I hope it resonates with you as it did me! Here is my poem, Margin

Margin

Living with no margins

Meandering in the cycle

Addicted to the broken

Lost in the moment

Making out on the surface

Drowning & I don’t show it

Constant and never stopping

Busy is my hobby

Constant is my flow 

And silence my scariest moment

I live in a state of exhaustion

I’m so used to it, lying to my self believing

It will all work out in the end

But if I waste this time will I always be drawn by the tide

Controlled by external and never grounded internal

I blame myself but haven’t accepted the cost of change yet

I’m moving but I’m not thinking

Moving feels better when I am sinking

When will you stop the cycle and let your choice rule you

God has so much for you

But how can you grasp it

When you can barely see where you are going

You say this and that but when will you act

Your heart is bleeding

So What about that?

When will you stop and pay attention

To your heart screaming at the core

For more, an empty cup won’t fill anyone up

Im seeing you bursting at the seams

You can’t love anyone without first loving thee

Stop running I know you’re scared

Of your conscience blasting records of a past you can’t seem to run away from

Because maybe its time to confront it

Stop running

Sometimes silence is a friend 

Heavy and deep it only speaks when invited

But you’ve gotta make space to make sense of the things causing  you to lose the margins of your page

So stop maybe everything you’re running from is exactly what you long to embrace

———- END——–

I do not know if you can relate but today I ask you the same question I am asking me. Why are you running? And are you ready to face thee?