1 Thessalonians 5:18, Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

Reviewing my life

You know that feeling when you’re new in a relationship — the anticipation, the excitement, the rush of dopamine from building something new and special? But as the relationship matures, things naturally stabilize. And if you’re not careful, they can become stagnant. You forget to do the little things you once did just because. Little things like being grateful

For the first time in a long time, I’m beginning to feel like I did when I first met God. And it maybe because my perspective on my life is changing.

This November 20, 2025, will mark 15 years since I became a Christian — a huge milestone. Yet the last couple of years have felt like a blur. My 30s have brought challenges I’ve never faced before. I’ve been grieving the gap between what I planned and what is.

In many ways, my life looks nothing like I imagined. But in so many others, it’s more than I could have ever dreamed. I’ve traveled often. I’ve built community in different spaces. I’ve navigated two new jobs post-MBA. I own my own home — and it even helps pay for itself through basement rental income. Soon, I’ll be taking my mom on a trip to Greece and Turkey. Life is good.

grieving the gap

But when I hit my 30s, I realized I hadn’t reached two goals I always assumed I’d achieve by now: marriage and kids. For some reason, those milestones symbolized “success” to me. They were the markers that would make me feel like I’d won. But honestly, that’s an illusion.

If I were married with children, would I sometimes long to be single again — to travel freely, to rest, to dream without constraint? The grass always looks greener on the other side… but is it really?

I’ve realized I haven’t been as grateful or appreciative for what I do have. I think back to my solo trip to Switzerland last year — three weeks off between jobs, completely on my own terms. No one to ask permission from. Just freedom. The ability to plan a last-minute trip, to see the world, to breathe. That freedom of singleness is truly like no other.

But for so long, I focused on what singleness lacked instead of what it offered. Of course, singleness has its challenges — who wouldn’t want a loving partner to share life with? Yet this season holds so much beauty. It’s shaping me in ways I didn’t know I needed.

Marriage wont fix me

Am I waiting for marriage to fix my insecurities or to make me more disciplined about the matters of my heart? Because marriage won’t do that. I am responsible for nurturing my own dreams and desires. Having a husband won’t magically solve that.

Singleness has forced me to ask: Am I living the life I want, or am I waiting for someone else to give me permission to start living it?

I’ve never been one to wait for a husband to travel or buy a house — that’s always felt silly to me. But lately, I’ve been asking myself: Now that I’m here — single and free — what will I do with this time? Who am I becoming?

Because this might be the season where I have the most freedom I’ll ever have. So how can I use it well? How can I build habits that serve me long-term? What excuse do I have to delay my dreams? Who, really, is stopping me?

Singleness has stretched me — forcing me to dig deep, to clarify what I want from life. Don’t get me wrong, I still desire marriage and children. But while I wait, how can I become the best version of myself? How do I become a great human — the one — even if that “one” never multiplies?

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Final thoughts

God has blessed me richly. In this season, I have tangible blessings, freedoms, and luxuries I once only prayed for. I’m living in answered prayers — even ones I never thought to ask.

And that’s what I want to remember. Because in focusing on what I don’t have, I’ve missed the joy of celebrating what I do.

So today, I’m choosing to turn a new page — to truly enjoy this beautiful season I’m in.

Lastly, I want to fix my eyes back on the Giver of all good things, and trust that He’s using this season to shape me more into His image.