John 10:29 My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand.

I feel the real me emerging under the dross.

The fire pruning the impurities I once imagined were me.

I feel a grief creep up as I lose those things that reflected who I was.

They were comforts.
Old loves.
Old habits.
Personality traits I’d claim as mine.

Masquerading as me.

Once addicted to the broken,
God had to detox me.

He showed me how much I had perverted His image in me.
How I longed for things of this world to comfort
the wounds the world caused.

God reminded me:

I am His new creation.

But I fought not to be.

If only I could be “free” —
to exercise my rights and passions, I thought.

When all God wanted
was for me to know Him freely.

In a series of unprecedented events,
God confronted me.

I had heard the popular Proverbs 3:5–6.

But when it said,
“Lean not on your own understanding,”

I had no concept
that my understanding was lacking.

My pride had blinded me.

My house of cards
was about to collapse.

And the truth of my lack
would become visible.

God allowed me to see the path
my “own understanding” led me down.

Without His intervention,
I am not sure where I would be.

Rejection is God’s protection —
but I had never known it like I did
the day God revealed the enemy’s plan to me.

And I, like a sheep,
walked blindly into the enemy’s camp.

Yet like a Good Shepherd,
He protected me.

He showed me the depth of my own depravity.
My own propensity toward destruction.

Yet He led me
to green pastures
and paths of righteousness
for His name’s sake.

And I am glad I bear His name.

Because I am His,
the devil cannot have me.

For Jesus says,
“No one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand.”

And there I remain.

In His hand,
I am safe.

Even when I make my bed in Sheol,
He shall find me.

For even the darkness
is not dark to Him.

He always leaves the ninety-nine
for the one.

For you.

And me.