Isaiah 61:1, The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor.He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives….”

the Broken Pattern

The pattern starts like so

A experience or moment occurs that begins to bring doubt and fear in my mind about myself, the future or anything really. Boredom or lack of sleep can also have me wander into the same thing…

This experience triggers feelings of insecurity, uncertainty, fear. Anxiety rises in me

in an attempt to comfort me my mind cues for a common comfort practice which can be one of the following things:

overeating, trying to solve the problem by overworking to find a solution, jumping into fantasies about being wanted by a man that often lead to masturbation and throwing myself a pity party and evading the growth needed in the situation. I delay going to God, because I fear he either will not help or I want to avoid my disappointment that I have blamed God for. these are a few of my maladaptive practices when insecurity rises and fear pops up.

The bondage

But one struggle- masturbation has felt like a chain too thick for me to break. I often go to masturbation because in my mind I have some kind of release. I feel in my mind a deep need and craving to be wanted and in my mind that’s the easiest way to feel that way in my mind.

I have had big wins here and seasons of freedom but other times especially when I am uncertain and anxious that is what I went to. For context, I started masturbating at around 4 years old. I was introduced to sex at a young age by a cousin of my same age. .As a result, I often said I started wrong. The lie of the enemy entered early and young. I rehearsed it often and had such a bad view of self. I have grown so much from that, but sometimes it still affects me. I share this because from a. young child I felt so burdened by this addiction. When I was young I would close my eyes at kissing scenes during shows or movies. Some people thought I was being prude. But really I was just aroused by it and I knew it was wrong. I felt dirty. And so what’s’ wild about masturbation is that it had become both a shame and comfort. Doing this sin , reaffirmed the lies that I believed the enemy would speak- my sin could never be apart from me because I started wrong. I was stuck with this and I hated myself so much for it. I felt broken and every time I sinned in this way- it was this familiar thing that felt good in the moment. But right after , I felt dead as it affirmed I was beyond repair or forgiveness. As if I was wearing s scarlet letter, I felt those early sexual experiences could never be cleansed. No matter how much I prayed. So after a night of struggling with this familiar sin, I asked God to reveal my heart.I asked him to show me why I often go back to it.

Psychological & physicaL chains

I saw a vision of me with a chain on one leg. And the vision instantly bought to mind how elephants are trained when they are young. Its called elephant chaining

“Elephant chaining*. The concept is simple. When an elephant is a baby, you tie them to chains or ropes that are too strong for a baby elephant to break through. As they struggle against the rope, it burns and tears into their skin, causing pain as they try to free themselves. To avoid that bad feeling, they stop trying to escape. As they grow to a full size, the trainers will continue using the same flimsy ropes that an adult elephant could easily break through. The elephant, remembering the pain of struggling against the rope, will never again test it to see if it can escape. The rope, no matter how weak it may be, will hold the elephant forever.”

*I took this quote from the Zwinningmindset.com website

So how does this relate to my struggle with masturbation? Elephant chaining is a form of psychological conditioning that first uses physical conditioning. The goal is once the chain is removed , the psychological chain remains. The goal is to break the spirit. This is also the enemy’s goal for us- to break our spirit. For Proverbs 18:14 says, “A man’s spirit will endure sickness but a crushed spirit who can bear?” The enemy knows scripture too. The enemy attacks us before we have the ability to overcome, he tries to break our spirit. SO even after the physical affliction, he tried tamper with our spirit by making us think we our in bondage.However, the work that Jesus did on the cross is powerful and sufficient for us! As children of God, we cannot be bound unless we lay aside the authority and power we have. Sometimes our spirits are crushed and in that condition we are not living inn the abundance God has for us; in the freedom he purchased for us. SO he sent Jesus to heal us! You see the enemy sought to break the spirit not to crush me then but so that I would perpetually believe the lie that I could not escape the shame of what occurred to me. He wanted to crush the little me, so when I was full grown I wouldn’t fight against my bondage! Every time I chose the sin of masturbation, I agreed with the lie that I am stuck. But God wanted me to know I am a new creation. Like an adult Elephant who now has the power to crush the little chain. All I need to do is move forward and walk in my full strength!

But how do we walk in the power and authority of who God calls us to be? God must first revive our crushed Spirit! As Psalm 18:34, says who can endure a crushed spirit? Thanks be to God he always has a way!

How the LORD SAVES THE CRUSHED IN SPIRIT

The enemy’s job is to steal, kill and destroy.

But God came that he may give us life and life abundantly. So it’s no surprise God made a way to save those crushed in spirit.

God’s word about those broken or crushed in spirit:

Psalm 34:18– The Lord is near to the broken hearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

Psalm 147:3– He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Psalm 51:17– The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise

The year of the Lord’s favor

The Devil is subordinate to God. He is not God’s rival because he is still subject to God as we see in the book of Job. So even though all of us were born into sin, God has the plan of redemption through the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ! His blood atoned for all of us! So even though the enemy sought to break my spirit as a child through sexual abuse,God had another plan the enemy couldn’t have known! In Luke 4:18-19, Jesus quotes Isaiah 61 about proclaiming the year of the Lord’s favor. When Jesus came, he not only came to save us but to usher us into the Isaiah 61 chapter proclaimed so long ago through the prophet Isaiah. Jesus says after he reads this passage says today thus scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing. Isaiah ^! talks about God setting the captives free, bringing good news to the poor, and later I the chapter speaks of the future of his bride who would be priests before the Lord!

So what does this have to do with my struggle with masturbation? What does this have to do with any addiction or sin done against us? It means we are no longer bound by wha happened to us and even what we have done. it means even though we’ve been crushed in spirit God is near to the broken hearted and binds up our wounds. We are not bound by sin due against us or the sins e have done. We were once slaves to our passions and often even after meeting Christ we have lived like that still. But God is saying we are living in the YEAR OF THE LORD’S FAVOR! This era was ushered in by Jesus as we see in Luke 4:18-21. Jesus says this passage in Isaiah was fulfilled. So we are now under that truth if we believe in Him according to Romans 10:9-10. And it means we are no longer bound!!!!

SO what does this mean for today?

It means that the chain you feel that’s been holding you back that feels it will never break is already broken. You are no longer a baby elephant stuck to the chains of sin you’ve done or sin done to you!. Now as a new creation you are an full adult elephant with the strength to breakthrough that chain easily because of Jesus’ work on the cross. This means for me – I no longer have to submit to sins’ power. It has no dominion over me anymore. Christ died for that kind of freedom- for freedom Christ has set us free. Every time I masturbated it affirmed what the enemy wanted; for me to believe I was stuck and could not overcome. Me continuing in that sin, keeps me in bondage! But we have overcome by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony!

And God is saying Jesus already ushered this year of favor where God has turned from our transgressions and all his wrath is satisfied through Jesus! And through the power of Jesus we have overcome. We are no longer a slave to sin. God came to get us! And now we live in Isaiah 61’s promise. I still can’t quite explain the freedom I feel right now. So instead, I will leave you with an excerpt of Isaiah 61. Read it, know it, memorize it. Isaiah 61 speaks to us as a church- to all called by His name!not only that but now we also get to proclaim this good news to others! To God be the glory!

Isaiah 61:1-4

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
    because the Lord has anointed me
    to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
    to proclaim freedom for the captives
    and release from darkness for the prisoners,^[a]
2 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor
    and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
³     and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
    instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
    instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
    instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
    a planting of the Lord
    for the display of his splendor.

⁴ They will rebuild the ancient ruins
    and restore the places long devastated;
they will renew the ruined cities
    that have been devastated for generations.